A choice.

Hope you're all staying cool in this crazy heat!

The past week or so I have been reading Captivating and the accompanying workbook, by John and Stasi Eldridge. This is one of my favorite books in the world, and I have given it to many of my girl friends as presents. If you haven't read it...seriously, you need to. I even know a guy friend who has read it, and the authors recommend girls read the guy book (Wild at Heart) so we can better understand how God has uniquely designed us, and how we oh so conveniently (or not) fit together.

This book has been just what I needed, and is forcing me to get real with God and the things I've been trying to push down for so long, and finally get the healing my heart needs. The healing that God desires for me. And for all of us! There are so many different issues I could talk about from the book (and probably will in future posts) but the one that hit me tonight is one I would like to share, as I have a slight suspicion I am not alone in my struggles.

Forgiveness.

That word alone could bring cringing, wanting to skip the rest of this blog, or perhaps peak interest. Its a big deal. One that easily gets pinned with typical "church" phrases like in the Lord's Prayer where it says to forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors (which actually is Col 3:13). And a lot of times I think we get the wrong idea about forgiveness...or at least I know I do. But this book put it in a really simple way, and honestly, one that I never really gave much thought to.

Forgiveness is such a crucial part to our lives, and at least for me, one that I don't really like giving much time to. It's hard. It forces hurt feelings and deep pain to surface. But until we forgive those who have hurt us, we are held captive by the messages that came with the wounds. Paul even warns us in Ephesians 4:31 and Hebrews 12:15 that forgiveness and bitterness not only can wreck our lives, but the lives of those around us. It is a choice, not a feeling. If you wait until you "feel" like forgiving someone - you never will. Now here comes the part that I never really thought about. Saying you forgive someone is NOT saying what they did didn't matter, and that it didn't hurt. It's is NOT saying "I probably deserved what happened." It in fact is saying "What you did was wrong, very wrong, and it hurt me deeply. And I release you. I give you to God." You're letting God take away all the pain and bitterness associated with whatever happened, and choosing to let Him hold that burden and not hold it inside and be prisoner to it.

It might also help to think of it as the person who hurt you so badly is pretty wounded themselves. They've had their heart broken and shattered just like you have, and they've fallen captive to the Enemy. Does that excuse what they did? Not at all. But it does help us to let them go, realizing that they are broken pieces being used by the Enemy to destroy us.

A very wise woman once told me that forgiveness was not for the offending person, but for me. That totally blew my mind! What?! They're the ones who screwed up. ME forgiving THEM is me getting on the higher road and letting them off the hook, right? No. Choosing to forgive someone is allowing God to take all the broken pieces of our hearts and put them back together, to take us in His arms, and to bring us home. It takes away the bitterness and pain from our hearts and allows us to move on and be closer to the One who always forgives us.

There are certainly people in my life that I am being held prisoner by because I haven't forgiven them. But I'm on the path of letting go. Is there someone in your life you need to forgive? If so, just pray that God would come and heal your heart. That He would take the wounds and shattered pieces and put them together and take away the bitterness and pain from those situations. It could be revolutionary.