There truly are no words to express how much pain is as a result of his loss, and how much he meant to me for the past 16 years. He has been through EVERYTHING with me. Medically, emotionally, everything. He was always there for my good days, and the bad...and always lended a listening ear.
He got sick a couple days ago, and I spent my Christmas day trying to nurse him back to health, all the while slowly watching him get worse and worse. This morning I woke up for some strange reason (no doubt in my mind a gift from God) and I heard him crying. I went down just in time to be with him in his last moments of life, and to be able to hold him in my arms as he passed from this life. As insanely hard as that moment was, it was one that I wouldn't trade for anything. If he had to go, that was the place I wanted him to be...where I always had him.
I've never had to lose an animal, much less one who has been with me since I was six, and it is an indescribable ache, and he has molded a place in my heart that he will always fill. It was his time to go, and I know that he is no longer suffering, which brings great peace, and am doing my best to remember all the good times we had, and not the scarring images seared in my mind of my last minutes with him. He truly has been a puppy his whole life and was the funniest dog I have ever met. He was a joy to all, and can never be replaced.
I keep hearing him crying, or hearing the jingle of his collar, or look in his room expecting to see him there....but I know this will pass eventually. I miss him so much, and could never express how much I loved him. But he is still around, and has forever changed my life in the most amazing way possible.
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