Rough.

Today was a rough day to say the least.

I've been having EXTREME pain in my foot from the most recent surgery, where my staples are. They have been giving me so much trouble, but hopefully soon these days are coming to an end. On January 6, I'm going to have surgery to remove them. It shouldn't be a big ordeal, especially after how major these last two were. And I start school four days later, so I don't have time for to be a big deal! Haha. But it's just an outpatient surgery and they're just taking out the staples, and making sure that I don't have tendonitis as well.

I knew that would happen, and it's what I want so I'm not in excruciating pain....and I knew this next part would come eventually, I just didn't think it was this soon.

I'm still processing all that happened today. So most of this is just going to be medical facts, and not my personal take on it....because I don't really have one yet. Well, I do...but it's pretty unstable at this point. Anyways, so I've been having trouble the last month or so with my gait changing and wondering why that's happening. Also my foot has begun to turn back in (one of the things the last surgery fixed) which made me believe for a while that the surgery didn't work...(but it did). This has lead to a pretty fast degression of how I walk, and we went in today for a semi-urgent appointment for this issue as well as the pain. Basically what he said is that one of the key tendons that keeps your foot in a straight position has gone out which is why it's deformng again. That as well as decreased quad muscles has led to my walk being different, and there's nothing to be done about it. This is just my CMT/whatever I have progressing, and once my muscles are gone, they're gone.

So the plan as of now is to get a brace to wear basically all the time to help put my foot in the right spot so I can walk longer. And he said that the more it atrophies, the more I'm going to need assistance devices. AKA My worst nightmare and what I've been scared of my whole life. I already use a wheelchair super part time, but as time goes on this will be more often. But with my condition there's no definitive timeline, so it's sort of a wait and see type of thing. So for all I know nothing will change for years! Here's hoping.

There really isn't much else to say at this point. That's where I am physically, and am still working on the emotionally and mentally part. It's rough. That's really all I can say at this point. Not sure if anyone even reads this anymore, especially since it's been so long since my last update. But there it is.