Bringin' it back.

Tonight was my first Vertical of the semester. AKA my favorite time of the week!!!


Tonight was simply amazing. And really just refreshing. I'm starting to think back on my college years (being senior year and all..yay!) and I have seen quite a pattern of God just completely shattering my plans. Not just slightly chipping away little bits, or modifying them...completely shattering them. And I'm continually learning and realizing that I am not in control. And this semester is apparently going to be no different. The past couple weeks I have discovered and been attempting to deal with a situation that is SO completely over my head. I have no idea how to deal. The past couple weeks I've just been feeling really down, and allowing Satan to get the best of my complete loss of what to do, to make me feel like I am just drowning in this situation. I don't know what to do, what to say, how to act, how to deal, how it changes things. It's just an issue that is so much bigger than I am, or ever will be.

But tonight I got to take a step back from it. I was given the opportunity to step away from that, and my stresses with school, and everything else going on in this crazy thing we call life, and just bring it back to where it needs to be. Me and God.

Tonight at Vertical during worship I just allowed myself to be completely engulfed in it. Forget everything around me, everything going on, and just run into God's arms and be comforted and filled with His peace. All the songs were about God being stronger than anything, and if He is for us what in the world could be against us. And we ended the night with On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand. It was like the whole evening was designed and tailored for the message I needed to hear most.

I may not be able to handle or comprehend the current situation, or really anything that comes my way in life. But God can. He is SO. MUCH. BIGGER. A message that sounds really simple, and super easy to say...but hard to truly live. As much as I love having control, I am constantly being convicted to let go, and let God.

So tonight was renewal for me. It was refreshment and being put back in my place and knowing that this situation is, and always has been, in His hands. I don't have to know what to do, or how to act. I just need to put all my trust in Him, and let Him do it for me.

I'm bringin' it back.

Closing Chapters.

As exciting as a new chapter in life is, every chapter must have it's end. And unfortunately that time has come in regards to my involvement with KXA.

As I sit here, I am now officially an Early Alum of Kappa Chi Alpha, a group that has totally transformed my time at Baylor, and had such an effect on who I am. I met one of my best friends in KXA. I have had SO many fun, and amazing experiences that just would not and could not be fully explained in this little blog post.

It is really bittersweet at this point. I can't think of a Baylor experience I have had without KXA being a part of it in some way or another. Those girls have been such an incredible support system for me in some of the hardest times in my life. And they were there to celebrate my victories as well. I will truly treasure every memory I have with each of them, and still hope that I can grow those friendships even though I won't see them as often.

This decision is definitely the closing of one chapter, but it's also the very beginning of a new one. Graduate school is next on my list, and if I want to get in, my grades and academics need to be my top priority...which is why I made the hard decision to not participate in KXA anymore.

Sorry if this post doesn't really make sense...this week has been emotionally exhausting, and with this piece of news my emotions are even more all over the page. But I know that God absolutely had a reason and purpose for me being in KXA, and there is a reason that is not part of His plan for me this year...and I am excited to see where He leads.