Monday, February 27, 2012

Training your mind

I think ALL the time,  and in fact, there are hardly any moments when I am not thinking of the thousand things at once... Even when I should be sleeping.

This semester I have started taking yoga classes and it has been quite an experience. I love you for many reasons – one of the main reasons being that it is something that I can physically do. I can't do everything and can modify most things, and my instructor has been incredibly helpful with this. But not only that, it is constantly teaching me how to train my mind to relax, something I definitely can use.

At the end of each practice we laid down for conscious relaxation, something that is completely new to me. We listen to alpha waves, which I have learned  are the brain waves that occur in deep meditation states.  I won't lie, it has been really hard to train myself and I am still not perfect at it, but I'm getting better with each practice. Forcing yourself to be present in that moment and not think of what is going on later that day or what has really happened is really hard for me. But calming your mind and focusing on the music allows your brain to go into this meditative state and it is a feeling unlike any other. It's almost like a disconnect of your brain from your body and you're just in this place were there is nothing going on,  in for a chronic thinker like me this is paradise.

My instructor has also taught me about Delta waves, which help your brain mimic the same brain waves that occur when you're in a deep sleep. It normally takes me literally hours to fall asleep every night, the listening to Delta waves knocks me out in a matter of minutes. This is also taken a couple nights to get used to, because you have to force yourself to stop thinking and focus on the music.

I'm still learning how to not not think,  can be present in the moment, the learning how to train my mind has been quite an experience and one that I am very thankful for.   I am most definitely recommend  Yoga for everyone,  and it is a lot more intense than people think.  It is a great workout  and ironically also one of the most relaxing things ever.

 Even if  yoga is not for you,  listening to different waves and training yourself to relax with all the craziness of this world going on would be a good lesson  for us all.

If I can do it anyone can, and I think you should!

Friday, February 3, 2012

Sucky. Sucky week.

This week has basically just sucked. Had 5 tests...lots of friendships going through stuff...and the fact that at the current moment I can barely use my hands...Hence why this won't be too long.

I went to the doctor today and she said that my MD is spreading into my hands which explains my current predicament. There is a muscle that goes through your palm that for me has already wasted away in both of my hands, and as a result is making the big muscle below my thumbs work too hard, so they are super weak and wasting as well...which is why they hurt so badly. Not only is it a constant sharp, throbbing pain,  but if I use that muscle it cramps up and locks.

So...what does that mean? Not much. They can't do anything to stop it. But in the mean time I am waiting on some pain meds that will hopefully make it bearable, and I am going to go to Occupational Therapy. With that I will basically have to re-learn how to do everything...without using my thumbs. Hopefully they can teach me how to use the other muscles that I do have, and maybe give me ideas for adapting to this new stage in my life.

Prayers would be much appreciated. Frustration doesn't even come lightyears close to scratching the surface of how I'm feeling.