2014.

Another year has come and gone! I went back and re-read my last few New Years posts, and there was a lot of change and transition in those years. This year has been more of a closing chapters type year. My time at Baylor, and in school, is officially over. And this year begins the start of my career and new phase of life! As much as I have always loved school, and have cherished my years at Baylor, I am most definitely ready to continue on and finally be in my career and settled. Here are a few highlights from the year:

• Baylor playing in the Fiesta Bowl. We lost 52-42, but it was a cool experience and a good game!
• Having a committed relationship for the first time in a few years! Didn't turn out the way I planned, but I have learned and grown from the experience.
• Getting in my first big wreck. 
• Malaysian flight disappearing, and since then a few more have. Strange things happening with AirAsia....
• On 4/15 there was a blood moon. It was not fun getting up at 3 in the morning to see it, but so worth it!! Definitely something that isn't seen very often. 
• 4/17 marked the 1 year anniversary of the West explosion. Having personal friends go through that tragedy was hard, and it's still a city that is trying to recover.
• This summer I read the Harry Potter books and watched the movies.....for the first time! Yes. For the first time. And of course now I'm totally obsessed!
• This summer represented one year post-rehab. Hitting that milestone was a very special day. Some days I struggle a lot with going back to bad habits and unhealthy thinking, but knowing that I've gone this long on a new path gives me the hope and rejuvenation I need to continue on. 
• Mary Angelou, James Garner, Robin Williams, Joan Rivers and Edward Hermann died
• I traveled to Boston and Cooperstown, NY with my parents! Getting to be with my dad on his vacation of a lifetime was very cool, and I must say I wouldn't mind going to Boston again! 
• I was talented enough to fall in my apartment one night and break my elbow. This was the first time I was given real pain meds since rehab, and that was a huge struggle to have them be very limited...but I survived with the help of my close friends who understood the struggle, and I did not fall back into bad ways!
• This fall represented the inaugural season of football in McLane Stadium! I got the chance to go to a game with my dad and was blown away by it!!! Very cool, and if I do say so myself, I believe the Bears have kept up with the hype and have earned every part of that stadium.
• Ebola. That's all I will say. 
• Baylor ended the season being #5 in the nation, the ONE TRUE Champ of the big 12, and is going to play in the Cotton bowl! 
• In December Gilmore (Jeep) and I parted ways after a good 8 years together. And Avery, my Nissan Rogue, and I have begun our journey together. 
• I graduated with my Masters!!!!! Completely surreal to think that my academic part of life is officially over. My time at Baylor is over....still sinking in for sure. 
• My brother and his fiance got to come home for Christmas! We also met his future step-daughter, one of the most adorable and intelligent 5 year olds you will ever meet! Spending time with them before they get married was such a special time for us as a family.
• Yesterday my grandpa turned 92!! I swear he gets funnier with every year, and is still such a blessing to our family and hanging in there! 

It's been a long year! Nothing too exciting or life-changing to say here - just documenting my time :) This blog has been a cathartic place for me to cope with a frustrating disease, but also to document and share how God is continuing to use me and work in my life for His ultimate plan for me. It's so much bigger than anything I could have planned for myself, and I'm really excited to see where He places me in this next year. I don't know what is going to happen after my internship is over this summer....and that used to scare me. But He's gotten me this far, and has never failed to put me where I need to be when I need to be there, so I know everything will work out! A heartfelt and genuine thanks to everyone who has been a part of my life this year. Whether it was a positive or negative interaction, overall it has led to personal growth and reflection. I know I wouldn't be as happy or who I am without the people in my life and your continued support and encouragement helps get me through day by day :)

I hope this post finds you well, and that you have an exciting year ahead! I look forward to being a part of it. 

Bad day.

With chronic illness and chronic pain there are good days, and there are bad days. And today is a bad day.

It was expected, as I had spent a very long time in the car yesterday. However, despite my naïve thinking, even if it's expected – it still hurts just as bad.

As I mentioned in my last post, I am going through a devotional for those of us dealing with chronic illness, and how to go through a deeper than physical healing. And today's devotion was aptly timed, as it spoke of choosing to have positive thoughts on bad days. 

The key verses were 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. Below is the message version. 

"Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness. Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10 MSG)

Paul is a very biblical example that not all are granted physical healing while on earth. And while I am definitely not to the point of being overly thankful for my illness, I am focusing on these verses today. I definitely do not know the purpose of me being sick, or the purpose of being in so much pain every day that I just want to sit in a corner and cry. But I must decrease in order for Christ to increase. And His strength is made more known as my weakness increases.

Today is a bad day. But Christ's strength and power is more evident in these days, because I have no choice but to lean on him. My ability to get through this day, and every day, is directly dependent on his grace. I may be struggling to fully live it out, but I know that his strength and grace will get me through this period.

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

I confess that on many days "fearfully and wonderfully made" is not something I consider myself. Every day I feel like I'm sicker, more symptomatic, less able to function as I am expected to. How in the world can this broken body be considered wonderfully made?

Today was part two of a series with this title that our college pastor, Kyle Dunn is preaching through. Our bodies are so complex and crazy...and frankly the only way to describe it is fearfully and wonderfully made. Today we mentioned specifically what happens when you cut yourself and the innate process that your body goes through to stop the bleeding, and to heal the injury. But even though our bodies go through such complex processes on a daily basis, it is still very fragile. We are still vulnerable to sickness and disease....some of us more vulnerable than others.

2 Corinthins 4:16-18

16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I love what Paul has to say here. He recognizes that every human, regardless of health status, is wasting away. Our physical bodies were not meant to last forever. A pretty depressing thought to think that right now - as you read this - your physical self is declining. As someone who is chronically sick and progressively worsening, this is something that comes as no surprise. It's very easy for me to see my body not functioning...and for some this process happens prematurely, and some don't experience this until they're over 100! But wait - finish the verse! Our inner selves are being renewed every day. Just because our bodies may fail doesn't mean our spirits have to. As Christians, we have a reason for hope!! It would be indescribably depressing to think that this is all there is....but there is life through Christ after this. One day we will get bodily upgrades! There is a place after this Earth where there is no such thing as pain, hurt, scars, or tears. During my life on Earth I won't know what it's like to not be incapacitated by exhaustion, know the feeling of waking up with no pain, not having to plan my life around my energy level and limitations....but one day I will know what it's like!

What I most love about these verses are not just focusing on the future eternity with Christ...but that Paul is in no way belittling the suffering that is happening. Physical sickness is obvious, but it applies to emotional hurt as well. Having a loved one die, losing a treasured friendship, hearing words said during a fight...these are a big deal! And right now it may be enveloping your life and seem like your entire world is crashing down. AND THAT'S OKAY. Your tears, pain, and grief are warranted and worthy of the situation. There is nothing unspiritual about these things and they are part of the coping process. And while these things may feel like they take up so much of your life now, they are indeed not small in this lifetime....but they are small in your eternity.

This post is most definitely NOT to say that I have won this struggle. It is a daily struggle that I probably will never outgrow. This past month I have been in one of the worst flare ups of my life, complete with more panic attacks and pain than I care to mention, and in the past weeks I have successful if I could keep one meal a day down. It has thrown my world upside down, and I have just felt so lost...so out of control of my life. There have been days when I can't imagine having a "normal" job, getting through my internship this next year, and being able to be fully independent. But I have a renewed hope - that this life is not all there is. One day I will be in Heaven with no pain or limitations, nothing holding me back from being with my Creator. And until then...all I can is hope, and look forward.

One blessing I have experienced lately is that I just received a book in the mail I have been longing for. It is written by Joni Eareckson Tada, who is such an inspiration to me. I've read a few of her books and her story is incredible, I highly recommend anything with her name on it. She had an accident as a teenager that left her quadriplegic, and her struggles are many that I can identify with. But through it all she hopes in the Lord and is waiting for the next life with Him, just as I am. Her latest is called Beside Bethesda, and it is 31 days towards a deeper healing. For many of us physical healing will not occur in our lifetime. And that's a whole can of worms, possibly for another time, but for some of us there is another plan, which includes sickness and disease. This book is for us...focusing on the story of the healing pool in Bethesda, and praying instead for peace with unanswered prayers, the joy of waiting on God, and the happiness that can happen only when our faith and hope is put in Christ. I am so anxious to get into this book and experience an inward healing, even if a physical one doesn't happen. I plan to blog about my journey through these next 31 days and I hope that you will join me, and glean something from His truths. There is so much to learn every day from Him...and even if you are not physically sick, we all have suffered emotional scars and hurts...and His word will always apply.

"Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in the good things to come." - Jeffrey R. Holland

Unspeakable.

To close this week of Invisible Illness Awareness Week I wanted to tackle a topic that all of us face all too often - having to prove our disability.

Close-minded society will tell you that you must be in a wheelchair to be considered disabled - which is simply not true! While yes, many of us do have wheelchairs but that doesn't mean we are bound to them 24/7. I only use mine for long distances, or when I've used all my energy for the day and still want to go out.

One main example in which I have been publicly called out to prove my disability is written about here. I have faced this scenario on many occasions, but that one in particular was really memorable. But the reason I bring this up is because this weekend, as you may or may not have heard, Kanye West called out a couple people for not standing up and dancing to his song during a concert - both who were disabled. One held up a prosthetic limb to show why he wasn't standing, and the show went on....until later when Kanye noticed someone else wasn't standing up - this time someone in a wheelchair. He then said that he could not do his show properly unless everyone was standing up "unless you got a handicap pass and you get special parking and s**t". Excuse me?! WHAT?! Last night I was completely lost for words when I saw this. I can't stand Kanye for a lot of other scenes he has made over the years, but this one has put me over the edge.

If someone pays good money to come to a concert, they can sit the whole time or stand if they want to! But specifically calling out those who can't stand, and them blowing them off like it's such a luxury to have special parking is completely ignorant. Those of us with dysautonomia have trouble standing more than a few minutes, and thus need to sit - wheelchair or not. I remember being humiliated in front of a restaurant full of people when I was called out, imagine that humiliation for these people who were at a crowded concert!!!

Pointing out his ignorance and terrible behavior (these are the edited words I have chosen, in my head there are much worse things I have called him) is pretty useless, because any ding bat can see what he did was horrific. But it brings up an incredibly huge point that society just doesn't seem to get. Disability doesn't always require a wheelchair. You can't always see outwardly the illness ravaging someone's body. The cliche "Don't judge a book by it's cover" couldn't be more true...and don't be so ignorant! If someone wants to sit down, they shouldn't be called out for it. And no one should EVER have to prove their disability.

Spoons.

Honestly I'm not sure how I've blogged this long without talking about the Spoon Theory!! This is such a perfect way to explain to someone what it's like to be sick, and have to pick and choose what I do or don't do everyday.

The Spoon Theory was created by a woman named Christine, who has an invisible illness known as Lupus. A friend asked her what it felt like to really be sick, and this was the way she explained it. And now the rest of us can be known as spoonies, and many awareness bracelets or gear have spoons on them...and this is why!

How do I explain every detail of every day being effected, and give the emotions a sick person goes through with clarity? I could have given up, cracked a joke like I usually do, and changed the subject, but I remember thinking if I don’t try to explain this, how could I ever expect her to understand. If I can’t explain this to my best friend, how could I explain my world to anyone else? I had to at least try.

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”. She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point. I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

She grabbed the spoons with excitement. She didn’t understand what I was doing, but she is always up for a good time, so I guess she thought I was cracking a joke of some kind like I usually do when talking about touchy topics. Little did she know how serious I would become?

I asked her to count her spoons. She asked why, and I explained that when you are healthy you expect to have a never-ending supply of “spoons”. But when you have to now plan your day, you need to know exactly how many “spoons” you are starting with. It doesn’t guarantee that you might not lose some along the way, but at least it helps to know where you are starting. She counted out 12 spoons. She laughed and said she wanted more. I said no, and I knew right away that this little game would work, when she looked disappointed, and we hadn’t even started yet. I’ve wanted more “spoons” for years and haven’t found a way yet to get more, why should she? I also told her to always be conscious of how many she had, and not to drop them because she can never forget she has Lupus.

I asked her to list off the tasks of her day, including the most simple. As, she rattled off daily chores, or just fun things to do; I explained how each one would cost her a spoon. When she jumped right into getting ready for work as her first task of the morning, I cut her off and took away a spoon. I practically jumped down her throat. I said ” No! You don’t just get up. You have to crack open your eyes, and then realize you are late. You didn’t sleep well the night before. You have to crawl out of bed, and then you have to make your self something to eat before you can do anything else, because if you don’t, you can’t take your medicine, and if you don’t take your medicine you might as well give up all your spoons for today and tomorrow too.” I quickly took away a spoon and she realized she hasn’t even gotten dressed yet. Showering cost her spoon, just for washing her hair and shaving her legs. Reaching high and low that early in the morning could actually cost more than one spoon, but I figured I would give her a break; I didn’t want to scare her right away. Getting dressed was worth another spoon. I stopped her and broke down every task to show her how every little detail needs to be thought about. You cannot simply just throw clothes on when you are sick. I explained that I have to see what clothes I can physically put on, if my hands hurt that day buttons are out of the question. If I have bruises that day, I need to wear long sleeves, and if I have a fever I need a sweater to stay warm and so on. If my hair is falling out I need to spend more time to look presentable, and then you need to factor in another 5 minutes for feeling badly that it took you 2 hours to do all this.

I think she was starting to understand when she theoretically didn’t even get to work, and she was left with 6 spoons. I then explained to her that she needed to choose the rest of her day wisely, since when your “spoons” are gone, they are gone. Sometimes you can borrow against tomorrow’s “spoons”, but just think how hard tomorrow will be with less “spoons”. I also needed to explain that a person who is sick always lives with the looming thought that tomorrow may be the day that a cold comes, or an infection, or any number of things that could be very dangerous. So you do not want to run low on “spoons”, because you never know when you truly will need them. I didn’t want to depress her, but I needed to be realistic, and unfortunately being prepared for the worst is part of a real day for me.

We went through the rest of the day, and she slowly learned that skipping lunch would cost her a spoon, as well as standing on a train, or even typing at her computer too long. She was forced to make choices and think about things differently. Hypothetically, she had to choose not to run errands, so that she could eat dinner that night.

When we got to the end of her pretend day, she said she was hungry. I summarized that she had to eat dinner but she only had one spoon left. If she cooked, she wouldn’t have enough energy to clean the pots. If she went out for dinner, she might be too tired to drive home safely. Then I also explained, that I didn’t even bother to add into this game, that she was so nauseous, that cooking was probably out of the question anyway. So she decided to make soup, it was easy. I then said it is only 7pm, you have the rest of the night but maybe end up with one spoon, so you can do something fun, or clean your apartment, or do chores, but you can’t do it all.

I rarely see her emotional, so when I saw her upset I knew maybe I was getting through to her. I didn’t want my friend to be upset, but at the same time I was happy to think finally maybe someone understood me a little bit. She had tears in her eyes and asked quietly “Christine, How do you do it? Do you really do this everyday?” I explained that some days were worse then others; some days I have more spoons then most. But I can never make it go away and I can’t forget about it, I always have to think about it. I handed her a spoon I had been holding in reserve. I said simply, “I have learned to live life with an extra spoon in my pocket, in reserve. You need to always be prepared.”

Its hard, the hardest thing I ever had to learn is to slow down, and not do everything. I fight this to this day. I hate feeling left out, having to choose to stay home, or to not get things done that I want to. I wanted her to feel that frustration. I wanted her to understand, that everything everyone else does comes so easy, but for me it is one hundred little jobs in one. I need to think about the weather, my temperature that day, and the whole day’s plans before I can attack any one given thing. When other people can simply do things, I have to attack it and make a plan like I am strategizing a war. It is in that lifestyle, the difference between being sick and healthy. It is the beautiful ability to not think and just do. I miss that freedom. I miss never having to count “spoons”.

This I think is so great because it gives healthy people a very visual way to see how we have to make decisions every day, and how every little thing costs energy. Having to not count spoons would be an amazing luxury, but even if I never get to experience that on earth, I know in Heaven I will have an unlimited supply of them! That's what gives me hope everyday.

If you want to play a little game in which you are given a set amount of spoons and have to decide how to use them click here!

One Thing I Didn't Know

Continuing my (hopefully) post a day blogging in an effort to raise awareness for Invisible Illnesses I wanted to share a really awesome blog post a fellow spoonie has written.


First off, for those that don't know what a spoonie is - I can explain tomorrow! It stems from the Spoon Theory, and many of us with chronic illnesses who live by that theory are now affectionately called spoonies. :)


This woman has dysautonomia is well, so MANY things she writes resonate with me on a very real level. Since the theme this year for Invisible Illness week is "Just One", everday she is writing using the same theme, and her post yesterday was titled Just One Thing I didn't Know About Chronic Illness.


http://www.cranberryteatime.com/2014/09/just-one-thing-i-did-not-know-about.html


This is the link to her blog, which you should totally click around on, but I have also pasted some of the main parts of her post below.

I didn’t know just how hard and physically challenging it truly could be. I didn’t know how exhausting it was to do what appeared to be easy tasks.

 

I used to think that if someone had a wheelchair because of fatigue that they felt okay while sitting in the wheelchair. Now I know better. When you have a chronic illness, it can be absolutely exhausting to sit in a wheelchair.

 

I used to think that if someone was tired that they could ride in a car easily enough. You’re just sitting after all. That is resting, right? Now I know better. It takes a lot of energy and muscle strength to sit up, especially when dealing with turns and bumps in the road. When I was healthier I never realized how many muscles I was using to sit up straight in a car and not fall over when we hit a bump or turned a corner.

 

I used to think that if someone looked good and was smiling that they must be feeling well. Now I know better. It is possible to smile just because you are happy, not because you feel well. It is possible to smile even when you can hardly see because you are about to faint. It is possible to smile through headaches, intense pain, nausea, weakness, and fatigue.

This is so completely true! I feel like it's extremely hard for someone on the outside to judge me for being so completely exhausted when I've just been in my wheelchair for a long time, or riding in the car. I can't speak for all illnesses, but for dysautonomia we are always 100% fatigued. Not tired - there is a difference. I could sleep for 15 hours (yeah right!) and still wake up feeling like I haven't slept at all. I never get that reset or refresh button. And everything I do takes about 3x as much energy as a healthy person. So it may be just sitting up all day, even if I'm sitting, is exhausting.


I would like to think, as my fellow spoonie describes, that from the outside I look like a normal, happy person. That in itself some days takes an enormous amount of effort. If I acted like I felt all the time, no one would want to be around me!! So yes, many times I fake a smile and get on with my day like I feel great. There are occasions when I'm just too frustrated and feeling awful to fake it, but even then I try not to let too many people see that.


So remember today that looks can be deceiving. And the more you know about invisible illness, particularly if you have a friend/family member with one, the more you can try to wrap your head around what they go through everyday; and learn to be a better support for them.

 

30 Things About My Invisible Illness

In honor of Invisible Illness Awareness Week (Sept 8-14) I thought I would share 30 things about my illness! One of the biggest parts of awareness is education...so the more we share, the more people will be aware of what different diseases are like and what someone's story is.

1. The illnesses I live with are: Dysautonomia, Migraines, and muscle/nerve damage that happened when my birthmother was pregnant with me. To keep things simple, I usually just say I have “dysautonomia,” an umbrella term for dysregulation of the autonomic nervous system. This is the main thing I have to deal with on a daily basis. While my muscle/nerve damage is significant, it won't progress like dysautonomia can and doesn't affect me too much these days. 

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: I was not officially and completely diagnosed until last summer, June 2013.

3. But I had symptoms since: I have had symptoms for as long as I can remember, since at least 8-10.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is: realizing I physically can't do what people around me can, and having to make the mental adjustment that this is okay and I can do things my own way. 

5. Most people assume: Because I don't look sick that I'm not. Or if I'm in my wheelchair that I'm faking it because I can move my legs. 

6. The hardest part about mornings is: not focusing on my pain level and figuring out how that will affect my day. And realizing that my night of sleep did nothing for my level of exhaustion.

7. My favorite medical TV show is: House, of course!

8. A gadget that I especially appreciate is: voice recognition software. Although my most communicated with friends know that I often have misunderstood words on there when I forget to proof-read, it allows me to text and type without wearing out my hands.

9. The hardest part about nights is: I am always completed exhausted and have the hardest time both falling and staying asleep.

10. Each day I take just a couple vitamins and supplements.

11. Regarding alternative treatments I: will use those that are helpful for me, but massages have been the only thing that makes a difference - and even that is short lived so I don't do it often.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or a visible illness, I would choose: obviously if I had to choose I would choose neither even though I have both. But God has given me this life for a reason...so it's in His hands.

13. Regarding working and career: I struggle a lot with being up and walking around for my job, but thankfully I am surrounded by supportive co-workers and most of the time can sit when I need to.

14. People would be surprised to know: that I am much more tired and weak than I appear to be.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my reality has been: not ever having a break from the pain and fatigue.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: graduate with my masters (almost!) and hold down a job at the same time.

17. The commercials about my illness: are nonexistent.

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: I've been sick almost my whole life, so I don't have a "turning point" where I suddenly got sick. But as time goes on my endurance has gotten less, so I definitely miss being able to be as active as I was when I was younger.

19. It was really hard to have to give up: being as independent as I want to be. My memory has also significantly decreased and it's hard to remember things or when I forget easy words. 

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: blogging.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: I'm not sure I really know what "normal" feels like. But if I could have one day to have no pain or exhaustion I would do everything to be super active.

22. My illness has taught me: God has a much bigger plan for me than I had for myself. And sometimes that requires humbling myself and accepting help against my hard-headedness, to take care of the level of health I do have.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is: “Your life must be so hard/suck/be terrible"

24. But I love it when people: don't treat me any differently, and don't make me feel bad about having to modify plans or if I forget words/conversations or repeat something. 

25. My favorite Scripture that gets me through tough times is: "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:26-28

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them: I really understand what it's like, and I'm here if you want to vent. 

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: that people from the outside looking in have a lot of judgement and opinions about things they have no idea about. 

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was: just being there, whether its physically or emotionally. A lot of times my parents will bring me food so I don't have to cook something. 

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because: they are not understood by many, and don't get a lot of spotlight. So many diseases people need to be aware and educated about, and those who are sick need to know they aren't alone. 

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel: grateful.