Rough.

Today was kind of a rough day. Actually, it was a fantastic day, just a really sucky part in the middle.

I think it's really important for non-Christians (and Christians alike) to know that just because we are Christians, that doesn't mean everything is going to be perfect and peachy. It's really hard to explain without it sounding funny, but hopefully you get my drift. God makes awesome days even more awesome, but He also gets us through the rough ones...like today.

Tonight 2 of my best friends and I went to Chickfila for dinner, nothing unusual. I got to drive (yay!)! While we were standing in line, the guy behind me tapped me on the shoulder asked if I was the owner of the Jeep parked in the handicapped spot, and I told him I was. He proceeded to tell me that his grandmother can barely walk and really appreciates those spots and I told him I had a license plate and had the right to park in that spot. He was like "Well you all seem to be walking fine to me" etc, and asked the nature of my handicap. I was caught COMPLETELY off guard and have never really had someone ask me to explain why I park there. I didn't know what to do, so I got a little angry (and was afraid I was going to say something completely inappropriate...or cry) and just told him that I didn't have to justify why I park there, but I am handicapped and could. The conversation awkwardly ended there, and then for the next hour while we ordered, ate, and drove home I had to consistently try to not cry. And when I came home I called my mom and just bawled.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said "No one can make you feel inferior, without your consent." And today, I gave that guy my consent. I know now how to handle the situation if it were to happen again, and that I need to help educate stupid people like that who judge based on appearances. It's so easy to say I'm not going to let stupid people hurt me...but it's an entirely different, and extremely hard thing to actually do. I know that MD does not define me, nor do I want it to. But today that's exactly how that man made me feel...defined by my disease.

It was just like reality slapped me in the face today. I feel like everything is going so great, I get to wear my boot part time and I'm back at Baylor hanging out with all my friends and everything appears to be "normal" again for me, and then this happens and it's almost like the devil is saying "Don't get too happy, remember you're broken."

I pride myself on being this brave person who never gets hurt or put down when it comes to my MD, but truth is...I do. I try to keep it inside and pretend everything is okay but today I just couldn't. He really hurt me, and I so wish I could go back and say all the great things I've thought of to say now.

Today was a hard day, and my heart still hurts because of his judgment and words....but tomorrow is a new day, and this weekend is going to be fantastic! I'm going camping tomorrow with my KXA sisters for our Sisterhood retreat, and it is going to be such an incredible time of fellowship and worship. I'm ready for this pain to go away.