2010!

As is my tradition, here is a list of the things I found most memorable in 2010. Any additions are welcome :)

Having surgery

Taking the semester off because of said surgery

Haiti earthquake

Getting THE coolest little ever!

Starting a blog

The healthcare craziness in Congress

Having the worst semi formal ever

Tyler coming home to visit

One year anniversary of my grandmother passing

Surgery again

Infection from said surgery

BP oil spill

Getting my first job

Turning 21

Going to New York!

Having to quit my first job

Tyler coming home for Christmas

Baylor going to a bowl game!!

I feel like this year has been an INSANE year of change. My world physically has been turned upside down, my life plans have come crashing down and have had to be rebuilt, and I feel like I have lost many friendships. Maybe not lost in all cases, but severely distorted or changed so that they will never be the same. I never expected anything that happened this year to happen, yet it did. So what is to come in 2011? Only one way to find out...

Rough.

Today was a rough day to say the least.

I've been having EXTREME pain in my foot from the most recent surgery, where my staples are. They have been giving me so much trouble, but hopefully soon these days are coming to an end. On January 6, I'm going to have surgery to remove them. It shouldn't be a big ordeal, especially after how major these last two were. And I start school four days later, so I don't have time for to be a big deal! Haha. But it's just an outpatient surgery and they're just taking out the staples, and making sure that I don't have tendonitis as well.

I knew that would happen, and it's what I want so I'm not in excruciating pain....and I knew this next part would come eventually, I just didn't think it was this soon.

I'm still processing all that happened today. So most of this is just going to be medical facts, and not my personal take on it....because I don't really have one yet. Well, I do...but it's pretty unstable at this point. Anyways, so I've been having trouble the last month or so with my gait changing and wondering why that's happening. Also my foot has begun to turn back in (one of the things the last surgery fixed) which made me believe for a while that the surgery didn't work...(but it did). This has lead to a pretty fast degression of how I walk, and we went in today for a semi-urgent appointment for this issue as well as the pain. Basically what he said is that one of the key tendons that keeps your foot in a straight position has gone out which is why it's deformng again. That as well as decreased quad muscles has led to my walk being different, and there's nothing to be done about it. This is just my CMT/whatever I have progressing, and once my muscles are gone, they're gone.

So the plan as of now is to get a brace to wear basically all the time to help put my foot in the right spot so I can walk longer. And he said that the more it atrophies, the more I'm going to need assistance devices. AKA My worst nightmare and what I've been scared of my whole life. I already use a wheelchair super part time, but as time goes on this will be more often. But with my condition there's no definitive timeline, so it's sort of a wait and see type of thing. So for all I know nothing will change for years! Here's hoping.

There really isn't much else to say at this point. That's where I am physically, and am still working on the emotionally and mentally part. It's rough. That's really all I can say at this point. Not sure if anyone even reads this anymore, especially since it's been so long since my last update. But there it is.

Happy Birthday Vertical!!!

Today is a great day.

This day last year one of the greatest things of my time at Baylor happened for the first time: Vertical.

If you've read my blog for any span of time, chances are you've read about Vertical and how much I love it. I'm one of the biggest advocates ever and absolutely LOVE it and have been SO blessed this past year to have it as part of my life every week.

A year ago God started something big on Baylor's campus, that started in the hearts of several students. This time is for students to get together and worship, and just revel in the Word. It is such a refreshing way to start my week, and now my week feels really incomplete without it.

Not only do I love the fellowship and learning I get every week but I love everything it stands behind. EVERY week Afshin is so intentional about saying that Vertical is NOT to take the place of church, and if it's between going to Vertical or church on Sundays, they'd rather you not come to Vertical. It's just like an extra supplement to kick off your week with the right attitude.

I LOVE, LOVE Vertical and if you haven't gone...you need to!

NEW YORK!!

I am back in Texas!

I don't even know where to begin!! This whole weekend has seriously been one of the best ever, and it went way too quickly! And I have about a million other things that still need to get done tonight, so I'll try to make this short. (yeah right)

We left about 5 am Thursday morning, and spent the next 6ish hours traveling. When we got to NYC, we basically just walked around Time Square (where our hotel was), and just got the lay of the land...and some food! Planet Hollywood was one of the first things we found, so we settled for that. We really didn't do too much because we were tired, however....we did find possibly the two greatest stores ever. Right across the street from each other. That's right. The Hershey store and M&M World. Seriously. THREE floors of nothing but M&Ms and M&M paraphanalia! Such greatness! Then it started to rain so we were forced back into our hotel for the evening. But since I was running on an hour of sleep, I was grateful for an early evening. Which in turn was actually a really rough night for me. My muscles do not handle traveling well anymore, and I slept for about an hour or two, and then was awake because I couldn't sleep through the pain that was ALL OVER my body. I just ached all over and couldn't sleep, and even my pain medicine didn't help. Rough night. However, I was in NY....couldn't let it get to me!

The next day we got tickets on the double decker buses that toured Downtown/Midtown/Uptown Manhattan, and Brooklyn. The great thing about this bus was we had tickets for two days, could ride as we pleased and get off and on wherever we wanted! The first day we basically just took the whole tour because we wanted to see everything. We ended up at Staten Island and got on the ferry to go see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island!! It was SO cool to see those places/things in person!! Basically that's how the whole trip was...finally being at all these famous places and not having to just look at pictures. (Although now I have my own facebook album of pics, if you're interested!) I was surprised that I didn't take more, but really it was hard on the bus, and at the shows we weren't really allowed to much. After that we headed back to the hotel (the whole tour, depending on the RIDICULOUS traffic took about 3 hours) and got ready for...WICKED!! We ended up being able to walk to the theater because it was relatively close. So that was nice...but cold! It was in the 50s most of the time, and the windchill made it much colder! Wicked was, I don't even know, absolutely incredible!! It was my first Broadway show, and it was one I've wanted to see for years. It was such a great production. And the woman who played Glinda graduated from Sam Houston! Small world. After the show we went to this Irish pub called Charley O's to grab some dinner and I had some of the best ribs I've ever eaten.

Saturday we just did kind of whatever. We rode the bus to a different shopping district and messed around in midtown Manhattan for a while, and then went to the Rockefeller Center, or The Rock. One of the tour guides told us that if we were choosing between the observation decks of the Rock and the Empire State building to pick this one. And it was SO AMAZING!!! It's about 850 feet above the streets, and the only thing separating you from it is a clear, thin wall. SO GREAT!!! My dad was getting really nervous, but mom and I weren't at all even slightly freaked out. It was so awesome!! The view was absolutely INCREDIBLE! Pics are on my facebook if you want to see...and we had the perfect view of the Empire State building, and Central park....the whole city really. We didn't last too long up there just because the wind made it absolutely freezing!! Then we rode back to our hotel and got ready for....Blue Man Group!!!! We had to take a taxi for this show, because it was in Grenwich Village. My first taxi by the way. So much fun! We got there a little early, so we went in a Starbucks a few blocks away to wait...and it was HUGE! By far the biggest Starbucks I've ever seen. I guess it has to be if it's going to be in NY, and right by the Subway. But the performance was SO GREAT! I've wanted to see them for so many years, and it's even more awesome than watching their videos. We were in the second row, part of the "poncho section". The Blue Men had thoughtfully provided us with ponchos as to not ruin our clothes with their various materials that happened to go into the audience. In our case, a few splatters of paint and chewed up Twinkies, and some Cap'N Crunch haha. And I can now officially say that audience participation is terrifying. All 3 of us got picked for various parts of it. Before the show started they lit up our seats and said we would be leading the audience in the Star Spangled Banner...and just as mom started singing they said just kidding. Later one of the blue men started climbing on the seats through the audience...and he thoughtfully stopped on my chair. So hes literally standing on my armrests over my head and I was trying SO hard not to move! I was so scared he was going to fall or if I moved I would knock him off! And everyone was laughing because apparently he was making faces at me. And then towards the end they had those strobe lights that make you look like you're moving really choppy and you can't see swift movements, and one of the blue men magically appeared about an inch from my moms face and just stared at her. She screamed. Haha it was so great. One of the greatest shows, even though it's technically off Broadway.

And today was all traveling, and I unfortunately have a stats test tomorrow that is calling my name. But it was SUCH an amazing experience and I can't wait to go back. I can't decide if I could make it on the streets of New York. I'd love to, but only for a very short time period I think. Oh my gosh, the driving is CRAZY!!! I thought we were going to crash so many times. They don't even have street lines in most of the city, mostly because even if they were there no one would follow them. Cars/Taxis just zoom in and out of lanes like it's nothing. And when they stop they are literally less than an inch away from the one in front!!! So nerve wracking. But they all drive crazy together, so it all works out, right?

That's the crazy cliff note version of my trip, and I'll have more details if you ask. But seriously, LOVED it and had such a great time!

KXA

Nothing too exciting has been happening, but next weekend after my trip to NY I will have PLENTY to blog about I'm sure!! I am SO excited!!!

I can't remember if I've talked about this explicitly, or just implied it in previous posts, but I'm in KXA, a Christian sorority. Last night we had our monthly Dress & Pin meeting which is just a fancy way of saying that we all dress up that day, and have a mini worship service before our normal meeting. I absolutely love those times with all my sisters...there's just something so amazing about worshipping with people you see on campus all the time.

We had a few alumni come back and talk to us about how KXA affected their time at Baylor in retrospect, and it really made me realize even more how incredibly blessed I am to be in this sisterhood. Never again am I going to get this opportunity. To be in such close sisterhood with all these incredible women who have the same beliefs I do.

Thinking back, besides the fall of my freshman year, I don't have a member at Baylor that doesn't include KXA. I wouldn't have some of my closest friends or my roommate without KXA...and I wouldn't have grown as much spiritually as I have without them either. It's no surprise that the past year has been one of the hardest, if not THE hardest, in my life...and without them I could not have gotten through it. They have been SUCH an encouragement to me and never cease to make me smile. They are always there for me when I need to vent, or laugh, or cry...or just a study buddy to make the grossness of homework go by faster.

These girls have challenged me in my faith, encouraged me when I was down, and celebrating my victories with me as if they were their own. That's not something you find everyday! I am constantly surrounded by Godly women who I will have in my life forever.

I love every single of one those girls so much, and would be lost without them. Being in KXA is one of the best decisions I have ever made...and I really hope that you have some sort of fellowship like this. Because it's indescribably amazing.

Hola!

Well, things are looking up since my last post :) Last night was BYX Island Party, and it was SO amazing! I got to see Matt Maher, Addison Road, and Tenth Ave North. All of which I LOOOVE! Such a great time, especially after such a stressful week!

I don't have too much to update really, so this shall be a short post.

Today I'm going to a ceramic painting place with one of my best friends and I am SO excited! I think I'm making a bowl, but we'll see what happens!

Control.

So, I have an issue. I'm sorta, kinda, really, completely a control freak. And since college started 3 years ago (which ps, how am I already a junior?!) it has hit me in the face several times.

When I found out about my surgery in December, I literally scheduled it for 2 weeks after I found out I needed it, and then had to unregister for the Spring semester. That hit me HARD and it has taken me a LONG time to get over that. If you know me, you know what a planner I am. Heck, I make plans to make plans. My close friends know that messing with my calendar is like the biggest offense ever. You may laugh or smile at that, and as pathetic as it is, it's true. My life is one big plan. It wasn't in the plan for me to take a semester off. I know it happens to a lot of people, either for academic or financial or some other reason...and that's fine and dandy. But it wasn't ever supposed to be for me. I wasn't going to take a semester off. But I HAD to have this surgery. And I HAD to have it right then, so I had no choice and took the semester off. That was one of the reasons for starting this blog, was to journal what's going on with me and exploring what God has planned for this crazy, unpredictable time in my life and let Him use this for His glory.

This fall I am back in classes and am SO, SO incredibly happy to be back and getting back to normal life. But today I go in to talk to my advisor, to map out the next 2 years of my life. And yes, she was shocked I was coming in to do this haha. And it turns out, that semester that I didn't think would affect me, is now causing me to be unable to graduate on time. Right after I walked out of the building I called my mom and just cried. I finally thought things were back on track and I was recovering from all the insanity of the past 9 months, and reality slaps me in the face and my plans once again go down in flames. I know a TON of people take an extra semester, year, or sometimes even longer to graduate. And kudos to them, I know everyone is different and sometimes it just takes longer. But as the situation before was, it's fine for someone else...but not for me. Staying an extra semester was not in the plan just as much, if not more so, as taking a semester off. I know that putting this out of the web and falling apart about this will probably bring some judgment and some people may even tell me I just need to get over it. But this is a big deal for me. Today I'm letting myself be sad and frustrated about it, and then I'll get over it. I know there's nothing I can do about it and this is just the way it's going to be. God DOES have a plan for all of this, and even though right now I can't even see a glimpse of that, I know He's got it.

The past couple weeks I've been so proud of myself because I'm getting close to wearing my boot only about half of the time, and I've been going to the gym and doing my therapy consecutively and have really been able to see a difference. But yesterday I fell, and busted up my knee and twisted my foot even though I had my boot on. So now I have extra pain and healing that has to happen before I can continue on with my therapy. When I fall, which I'm learning is semi-frequent...it takes a long time for me to recover and it really throws me off; and not just physically.

These past 9 months have been such a trying time for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Maybe that's part of why I'm going through all this....to learn that my plans aren't set in stone and that God's plan is what I need to focus on, and what is a bazillion (yes, bazillion) times better than mine. So needless to say...I have no idea what's going to happen in the next few years and that drives me NUTS! But I know that God has it in His control, and I am trying to find peace in that.