Without words.

I am always looking for clever things to put as my facebook status, most of the time because I'm not clever enough to think of my own haha. I was searching tonight and found a really good quote, and it really hits home with how I feel right now.

"In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart." - Gandhi

I've never really sat and thought about it before, but that's true! I mean, upon reflection, I act on this...although sometimes not in the best way. When I pray I feel sometimes like I have to have so much to talk about and I feel like I just have to talk...but so much of prayer is listening. And God knows our heart, so he knows what we're thinking and feeling even if we don't tell him.

So many times in the past weeks I have just been without words. There are so many situations going on in my life right now that I don't know what to feel about. Some I have no control over, such as my physical situation which includes everything from this infection that won't go away to just everyday life for me and the things I have to deal with. But others I do have control over, like certain relationships and how I respond to them. There are a couple relationships in my life that are a bit rocky right now and I hate it and can't stand the way we are....but I honestly don't know what to do about it. I literally sit around and think about what to do and I get nothing....my mind is a blank slate.

Why is it so easy to call up a friend and lay out a situation and ask for advice and just listen? Why don't I automatically do that with God? Why do I feel like I always have to fill my prayers with words, rather than just sitting still and letting Him speak to my heart and guide me in the way I should go??

Not really sure what is to come of this post...just things I'm thinking about.